Who Should Read This Book:
Men and women, young and old, gay or straight. This book is for anyone seeking, in or recovering from love. 7 ESSENTIAL CONVERSATIONS is your yellow brick road to considerate communication and peaceful, fulfilling relationships.
Guest blogger, Brooke Chaplan, offers some thoughts today about the decision to live together:
You and your partner are totally smitten with one another,
and it's come time to talk about the idea of living together. They say you
don't really know someone until you've lived with them, and to a degree, this
is true. If you think you want to take the leap and share living space, here
are a few ways you can tell if you and your relationship are ready.
You're Practically Already Living Together
If you're spending so much time with each other, you're
practically living together, then the next step will come easily. At this
point, you've both already seen what the other lives like . Once you're already
aware that he doesn't rinse the sink after he shaves, or that she leaves her
shoes in the middle of the floor, you won't be so surprised by the other quirks
You've Always Worked It Out
Paradoxically, fighting is actually an important part of a
relationship. Every couple has disagreements, sometimes ugly ones, but the end
results are a good
indicator of your relationship's strength. If you both take steps to
resolve your conflicts in a mutually satisfying way, it's much easier to
maintain peace while living together. It's also important to offer reassurance
after arguments. Just because you fight with someone doesn't mean you don't
still love them, but it's nice to be reminded.
Giving Up Some Independence
No relationship comes without compromise, but a slight loss
of independence is what can get to some people the most. By no means should you
let your partner control everything you do, but it's normal, and important, to
give up a little of that freedom you knew when you were single. For a relationship
to be successful, each person has to consider the feelings of the other, otherwise
there will be conflict.
It's essential to take your individual lifestyles into
account. If they aren't at least reasonably similar, living together is going
to be rough. Differences in work and school schedules, religions, values and
even aesthetic tastes can cause problems if they run afoul of your partner's
habits and tastes. Fortunately, some of these are easier to remedy. If you're
both collectors but have wildly differing collections, you might end up vying
for space. In this case, a good compromise would be for each of you to put some
of your collectibles in a storage
center so there's plenty of space.
Making the choice to move in together is a big step that
shouldn't be taken lightly for any couple. Besides all of the work that goes
into it, you also become more emotionally invested in the relationship. Before
taking the plunge, be sure you're both ready for it.