The holidays are over and once more, they didn't live up to your hopes. Maybe you thought that somehow some of the magic would be recaptured during that time, but it just didn't happen. Maybe you had mentally given yourself until the end of the year for things to change. Or maybe you just wanted to get through the holidays and not ruin them for the kids, before going to see a lawyer.
For these reasons, and I'm sure many more, the New Year is the beginning of the divorce process for many couples. Usually January is spent meeting with and selecting an attorney, and the actual filing happens in February.
How did it get to this point? Guest blogger, Brionna Kennedy, has written about it:
The Top Five Reasons for Divorce and How to Prevent them
Divorce is never an easy thing to go through. Often, even
the most level-headed and compatible couples find themselves contemplating a
call to a divorce lawyer. Here
are a few of the top reasons listed for getting a divorce, and how to avoid
them.
Money is the number one source of stress for married
couples. When one partner thinks the other is taking advantage of the finances,
it feels like your livelihood is threatened. To combat this is, you must engage
in constant communication about your financial situation. Make agreements about
what each of you contributes, and consult a lawyer and financial counselor before
any major purchases.
Infidelity is another reason for leaving a marriage. People
cheat for a lot of reasons: emotional detachment, lack of intimacy, pure
selfishness. You can avoid this by maintaining regular emotional and physical
closeness with your partner, in addition to regular counseling to keep your
marriage healthy. There are many ways to avoid this outcome. By maintaining a
strong relationship you will feel close and bonded to your partner.
Once kids and balancing schedules come into the picture,
stress skyrockets. This builds up until you've had just about enough and need
to leave the marriage. You can solve this by carving a little time for
yourself, and a little time for yourselves as a couple, to decompress and do something
you enjoy. Building time management skills is a big help, too.
Ennui, or boredom, can be a death knell to marriage. You
have to keep things interesting or they get old. This means regular dates,
periodic reconnecting, and constant communication. It takes a lot of effort,
but ennui is completely preventable if you want to stay in the marriage. If you
do, the effort is well worth it. The closeness and security you can feel from a
fully committed relationship is something you can find no other place. It is
worth the time and effort it requires.
Some people simply aren't ready to be married. Either
they're too young, or they moved too fast, or they were afraid of growing old
alone. The only way to combat this is to make a serious decision about your
partner. Is he or she the one you want to spend your life with? If so, contact
a marriage counselor to see what can be done. Counselors have many different
ideas and ways to help you work though any issues you might be experiencing.
There are times when a divorce can be avoided, and if both
partners are willing to make necessary changes, a reconciliation can be
successful. If saving the marriage isn't possible and divorce is imminent,
there are many different choices and paths to proceed down. If there are
children involved, make sure to keep them at the front of your mind. Don't let
other feelings take over. Make sure they feel loved and cared for above
everything else.
Brionna Kennedy is native to the Pacific
Northwest, growing up in Washington, then moving down to Oregon for college. She
enjoys writing on fashion and business, but any subject will do, she loves to
learn about new topics. When she isn't writing, she lives for the outdoors.
Oregon has been the perfect setting to indulge her love of kayaking, rock
climbing, and hiking. When researching for this article she took a lot of info
from Kelsos, The Law Firm, Newcastle
natives use them as a trusted resource.
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