In case you're already dealing with a divorce

Thanks to guest contributor, Neltje Maynez, Writer/Editor at www.MyCollegesandCareers.com for the article, below. Although "Divorce Proof Your Marriage" is obviously best read PRIOR to tying the knot, some of you are also still dealing with an untying. Naltje offer some good advice:


A couple of years ago, I had the most unpleasant time of going through a divorce of my parents. They had been dealing with problems for a long time―but I never thought that they would reach the point of divorce. It was painful, and I still feel like I am dealing with the consequences. Luckily, I was older when it happened, so I didn't feel so affected by it. But, it's not like it was easy.

However, my parents are still having a hard time with it. I am pretty sure that if they had some counseling, or advice, their divorce could have been less painful, or at least less time-consuming. It seems like more and more people are getting divorced. I was talking with my mom, who had a small support group for divorced people and she gave me 5 tips when it came to divorce.

1) Clean Break
This is one of the most important steps of a divorce. If the papers have been filed and you are legally divorced―it's over. Do not linger with the thought of them coming back. Respect yourself and realize that your marriage is done. Although the words may be harsh―it's better to realize it now than to hold on to a wish that they will come back. Get rid of the things that they have in your place, and get your stuff back. Delete their contact info from your phone. You don't want to be tempted to want to call them back.

2) Time
Healing from a divorce takes time. You will want to get back in the dating scene because you are lonely, but don't do it. That could only lead to more heartbreak in the future. Know that even if it seems really hard, you can do it. Be strong for yourself.

3) Let it Out
Let's be honest, getting a divorce is tough. Don't try to be the hero and bottle all of your emotions inside. You have got to learn that it is ok to feel the way you do―it's normal. However, you don't want to be bitter for the rest of you life. Being angry and hurt is a normal part of being divorced, but don't let it consume you forever.

4) Treat Yourself
Think of your divorce as something that can help make you even better than you already are. If you have gain a little bit of weight, start going to the gym. Start taking care of yourself. You can even start new hobbies that you have always wanted to try.

5) Look to the Future
You are an awesome individual that can do anything that you put your mind to. Don't let a divorce bring you down. It may hurt for a little bit, or even hurt for a long time, but you can do it. Start making goals for yourself. If you have been stuck in a career that you hate, go back to school and change it.

My mom told me that these tips helped her―even years after her divorce. If you are someone that is experiencing this pain, try these tips. Divorce will never be hard, but these tips can help you on your journey. Who knows? Most people that get divorced often find that they are happier without the person they divorced. It will take time to get used to it―but if you let yourself―you can be happier and even more successful.